Why does my dog stare at me?
To some, a dog’s stare can be quite unnerving, especially as there is a common perception that it is a precursor to an attack. However, this is not the only reason why a dog will stare at you. While it is true that direct eye contact is confrontational amongst dogs, they have developed this ability to engage with us on a human level, even though it goes against all their instinct as a canine. It is one of the many reasons why dogs have become man’s best friend and have remained there for millenia.
Direct Eye Contact - Dog Language
Before we look into the reasons why a family pet dog might stare at their owners, we should first cover what direct eye contact means in dog language. This is an especially important subject when adopting a street or rescue dog that has not grown up with humans. Dogs who have had little to no contact with people are unlikely to have an understanding of how beneficial and non threatening eye contact with humans can be. They will only know what it means in dog language.
In canine communication, staring is a way of asserting dominance or establishing a hierarchy. Brief eye contact is normal when meeting for the first time, however staring or prolonged direct eye contact is considered rude amongst dogs. It is a form of challenge for authority which could lead to fight or flight. Most dogs make brief eye contact and look away again to indicate that they are no threat, but if staring does occur, it is usually because there is a valuable resource nearby that a dog does not want to give up.
When a human inadvertently looks too long into a dog’s eyes that is not yet accustomed to human-dog language, it can be interpreted wrongly as a sign that the human is threatening them. Fear, confusion and survival instincts could kick in and cause a dog to become aggressive. Making and breaking eye contact with a street dog that is unsure, nervous and fearful is the way forward. If this is coupled with other calming signals such as turning away slightly, yawning, and slow movements, most dogs will also relax.
Reasons Why Your Dog Might Stare At You.
Dogs are masters when it comes to reading body language. When they spend a significant amount of time around humans they watch and learn how we communicate and adapt their own communication methods to match ours. This is an understated skill that amazes me and one that has seen them not only survive alongside us but thrive to the point where we want to now look after and pamper them like children. Which other species has been able to endear themselves so much to us that more of them live in our homes as a member of the family, rather than work for us.
Love
Having the ability to gaze into our eyes can bring about a chemical reaction that induces the “love” hormone Oxytocin. This is the same chemical that is produced when mothers feed their babies and stare down at them. We quite literally love our dogs.
When gazing into our eyes, a dog might very well just be enjoying that feeling that comes with a loving family, safe home, and happiness. If they are relaxed, being cuddled or just about to doze off you can be sure that this type of staring is nothing more than pure love for you and utter contentment.
Change in Schedule
Love is not the only reason our dogs stare at us. One common reason is a change in schedule. Dogs have a natural ability to run on a schedule. They, of course, cannot understand a clock time like we can but they do have a perception of passing time and routine. Owners have told me many times that their dog knows when the children will be home from school and will wait at the door for them for instance.
My greyhound Swift comes to find me at midday every weekday for his lunchtime walk, but not at the weekend. Why is this? Some schedules are set around associative learning. At the weekend my routine changes. We wake a little later, or at least we do not run to a tight schedule as we do in the week and so Swift has learnt that the walks will also be different and I probably won't be in my home office. He adapts his unique schedule but if I am not ready at midday in the week or at a reasonable time over the weekend, I get the stare. Swift comes right up to me, personal space invaded and stares at me. His communication that I should be putting on my boots, grabbing his lead and heading out the door.
If you have recently changed your dog’s schedule you might find them staring at you in confusion and wondering why they are not being walked, or fed or where the children are today? They could also be telling you that they need the toilet!!
Attention or Boredom
Dogs need engagement and interaction. Some dogs are a little more demanding than others but they all need to be physically and mentally stimulated or, like humans, they will become bored and frustrated. Thankfully for owners dogs sleep a lot. Most typically sleep between 14-18 hours a day. When you add that to daily walks and self-play, dogs are fairly undemanding, But, when they do want some attention and are feeling bored, you can be sure they will look at you long and hard.
Some dogs might bring you their favorite toy to throw around, some might jump up disturbing your line of vision to the TV or laptop. A few will whine or even bark while others will just sit and simply stare at you. All will be making eye contact to try and get you to engage with them. If your dog has had some downtime or recently been sleeping and begins to gaze up at you, you might want to think about spending a little quality time with them.
Break up their boredom with a little playtime or if you are super busy at least acknowledge their request and let them know you will be free in 10mins. Even spending 5 mins engaged with your dog can satisfy their need and they will go off happy again. Ignoring a dog completely could lead to more demanding behaviour. Work out how to communicate with them and you will work out how to live harmoniously and happy together.
Learning and curiosity
Dogs are curious by nature and they use their eyes, like most of us, to observe and learn. When something out of the ordinary is presented to them, they are likely to watch it intently to understand what it is. Have you ever made a funny noise and seen your dog stare at you. It was an unusual noise and not one they are used to hearing so they watch you to learn what it means.
When training a dog, most trainers and owners will first establish a visual connection. If you can get a dog to look at you, the stronger the chances you have to give them a cue for follow. When learning a new cue, you may present an unfamiliar word such a ‘paw’ and an unfamiliar gesture like holding out your hand. It is likely that your dog will look at the unfamiliar gesture and then back up to your eyes. Staring at you waiting for some cue that is more familiar to them.
Understanding our Emotions.
Dogs have learnt that us humans say a lot with our eyes. Our eyes can often reveal how we are feeling and we use them to communicate non-verbally, sometimes unintentionally so. For example, most people tend to look down when embarrassed or roll their eyes when unimpressed. However, there are much more subtle ways that our eyes give away our feelings and dogs can pick up on these when they stare at us.
Anger is often easy to convey and owners tend to exaggerate their facial expressions to communicate with their dog that they are not happy. Raised eyebrows with questioning eyes might mean “excuse me, are you allowed to do that?” We communicate like this with our dogs all the time without even realising we are doing it and they respond! How amazing!
Direction and guidance
However, dogs will also look to us for direction when we do not realise it. If an unfamiliar person approaches, they look to see if our eyes are relaxed and welcoming or whether our pupils have enlarged and we are uncomfortable. When out on a walk and a dog is up ahead, they will look to us to see where we are planning to walk onto, following the direction of our gaze. Some that are more mischievous and stare over at us to see if we are watching them in case they have caught the scent of something they want to investigate.
Feedback and Comments
I hope that you have found this article interesting. I always welcome feedback, comments and shared stories. Do you have a dog that loves to stare at you? If so, do you know why or do they leave you wondering?
Maybe you are uncertain as to why your dog is staring at you and you find it unsettling. I would be more than happy to help ease any concerns. Please send any questions or feedback to me at emma@fourlonglegs.co.uk or comment below.